This is a question that many people have asked themselves. “Why are people always mean to me?” You try to be kind, easy to get along with, and fun to be around. As hard as you try to be someone that others will like, it seems that it’s all in vain. Hatred and negative attention continue to come at you. But why? Why would this keep happening to you when all you want is for the attacks to stop? And why doesn’t anyone do anything about it?
The short, generalized answer for why people do this is simple: some people are just shit. They don’t want others to be happy, and they enjoy watching them suffer. It’s fun for them. In many cases, they enjoy the attention it brings to themselves, especially when they can gather an audience who agrees with them.
You may have experienced this first hand. If not, you’ve seen it in videos or heard of it happening to others. Some asshole will torment another person while others watch and laugh. They rally around and do nothing to stop the ridicule. Instead, they just watch and sometimes participate as someone who did nothing to deserve it is treated like garbage.
The way it feels to be at the center of something like this is overwhelmingly painful. You don’t know what to do to make it stop, and you feel like you’re hated by the universe. Worse, you can’t help but think that you’re alone, that no one else has been made to suffer like you are.
The sad truth is that this happens to a lot of people, mostly kids, and teenagers. As much as I wish I could be there to stop it from happening to you, unfortunately, that hasn’t been in the cards for either of us.
But while you sit, reading this post and thinking to yourself that you can’t do this alone, I do have advice that I can offer you. It’s the same thing I would tell you if I could be there with you, standing between you and the douchebag attacking you.
Some people are assholes. I mean raging hemorrhoid-filled disgusting buttholes who have nothing else in their life except their need to be terrible to others. The things they say to you are just to make you feel bad. The fact is, they don’t actually care about you. They just care about how they can make you react. Seeing you cry and get upset is what they want, and I know you can’t always stop yourself from giving in. Trust me, I’ve been there, and the second those tears drop, it only seems to make things worse.
But I need you to listen to me and hear what I’m saying to you. Nothing they say to you matters. Nothing they EVER say to you is worth your tears. They can bully you. They can attack you. They can start rumors that spread like wildfire. But no matter what they do, you are still better than they are. How do I know that? Because you aren’t doing that shit. You aren’t attacking someone just for fun, just to hurt them so you can get off to it. No, quite the opposite. You’re trying to be a good person, someone people will like, not some giant bag of crap that would attack someone like you.
These people are cowards. How do I know that? Because they are attacking someone who isn’t fighting back. They don’t go after people who would knock them on their asses or someone who can run their mouth just as well or better. They go after people they think are easy targets, which may make you believe you are weak but don’t think that. You are a lot stronger than you know. I know this because you’re putting up with their crap, and that takes a tough person to do.
Making the bullying stop
So how can you make this treatment stop? Usually, there are only a few ways that it stops.
Years ago, the fastest way to stop a bully was to knock the shit out of them. I can’t tell you how many fights would occur in my middle school and high school, all because some idiot went after the wrong person. They thought they were top dog until they found out otherwise.
But fighting may not be something you can do. It’s also not something I can really tell you to do. That said, if someone is physically harming you, defend yourself. Don’t let someone physically assault you. You have two fists, and as much as you think you can’t fight, you can. Trust me, they won’t like getting knocked in the mouth by someone they thought wouldn’t hit back.
Moving On or Getting Bored
Unfortunately for someone else, a bully will often stop messing with you when they find another victim. They may not leave you alone altogether, but often the tormenting will at least reduce. It’s an unfortunate way of getting out from under their radar because it means someone else has taken your place.
Friends, girlfriends/boyfriends, parents, and others you’re close to or can trust will often step in and stop someone from bullying you. Sometimes this works well, so if this is happening to you, it’s definitely worth it to ask someone for help. Even if you have to reach out to a teacher for help, do it. I’ve complained in the past about how teachers don’t help, but that isn’t always true. Sometimes they do, but other times their hands are tied. Still, it’s a good idea to ask one for help if you can.
But what if you have no one? That rarely happens, but when it does, that’s when the loneliness kicks in. That’s when you need someone like me, and trust me, there are others out there. I’m not the only person willing to stand up for people being bullied, especially kids. I’ve been treated that way before, and I don’t think anyone should have to go through that. Many others out there are just like me and are more than willing to help.
You stop giving them what they want.
These days, this is my preferred method. You see, as I’ve grown older, I’ve become less interested in what other people have to say about me. This includes people who trash me. I’ve been making rap music for decades, and in that time, I’ve shown a lot of emotional vulnerability. Last year I literally cried on an album multiple times. Some people make fun of that. I don’t give a shit. If I cared about what they thought, I would have never released it.
People who bully others want a reaction, but that doesn’t mean they can have one. When someone is trashing you, just think about how pointless this person really is. They’re trying hard to say anything they can to make you upset.
What an empty sack they are.
The more you think about how useless these people are, the faster you’ll get bored with what they have to say. You’ll realize that your time is better spent on other things. This is why I don’t often argue with people on the Internet. I have better things to do, and they don’t involve them.
You’re the same way. There are more important things for you to be doing that have nothing to do with those idiots. And realizing this will help you get tired of their bullshit faster. As that happens, they’ll stop trying and will eventually leave you alone. Why? Because they won’t get what they want, and you will have learned how to stand against their torment.
Keep in mind that some people are persistent, and they’ll keep bullying you, especially if they have others watching. It does suck to go through, but eventually, you will become less affected by it. It will take time, but this is a problem you can make it through. You just have to stay the course, and you’ll get beyond it.
School and Online
If you’re in school and this is happening to you, remember that school does not last forever. Once you’re done, you never have to see these assholes again. Seriously, I’m in contact with only a handful of people I went to high school with, and none of them are the people who mistreated me. Generally speaking, bullying is a temporary problem.
If the bullying is coming from online, that’s even easier to get away from. Just turn the device off. Seriously, just shut it off and do something else. I know that the Internet is everyone’s life these days, but 20 years ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, people didn’t have the interwebs to consume their time. They did other things and were much happier. You can, too. And if the problem is that these people are coming at you through social profiles, well, you can always block them. I have a guide on the site that provides tips on improving your online life. You may want to check it out.
Please understand that even though some people are walking turds who only want to smear their awfulness on others, it doesn’t mean that all people are. It also doesn’t mean that this is all your life will be. I know it may seem that way, but it’s not true. Our minds like to make us think things like that because…well, I have no idea why. I always assumed my brain was a jerk, and that’s why it did it. What I do know is that you are stronger than you realize, and all of those people bullying you can kiss your ass.